I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize