I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
