the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
