I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
