Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
