ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
