Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
