So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
