Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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