dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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