Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
