I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
