Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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