i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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