The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
