One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Who wears a wallet chain?!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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