seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize