my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize