butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
