Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
