we're chasing vodka with high fives
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
