Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
