garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize