Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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