sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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