You made me cry and you don't even care
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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