I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
