I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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