Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
