Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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