sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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