Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
