I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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