What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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