If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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