he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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