I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
