Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
