It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
