lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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