Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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