And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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