Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
