I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
