So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
