Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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