you guys were way drunker than both of me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
