I cockslap morals
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
