i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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