saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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