Your tits are I can't wait for
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
