using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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