just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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