he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
