I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
