drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
