Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
