fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
