I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
3pm strippers are depressing
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
