How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
