Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize