she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
