Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
