i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
