that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
