my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
