the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
