How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
