U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
