He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
