Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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