I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
